2024
Jan/29:
Simplicity is a goal in itself. Simplicity leads to greater accuracy. (Occam’s razor)
2023
Aug
15
Competitions are good.
Even though I am still limited on the ground with my own trusted legs and feet for running.
Feels good to be on the bike, grinding hard on the pedals. It felt good.
07
carb and fat for energy. protein for power (muscle recovery)
one small/medium banana: 25 grams of carb / ~100 kcal (from carb only, ignoring all else)
carbs provides 4 kcal / gram. protein the same.
Fat provides 9 kcals / gram.
If i burn 500kcal from a workout. i need total carb from 5 bananas) to refuel the energy deficit.
For muscle recovery, protein intake (grams) / body weight (kg) == 2.0.
Targeting body weight: 155 lbs (70.3 kg)
Daily protein intake: 140 grams (4.375 scoops (32 grams/scoop, 120 kcal/ scoop) ) (Calories intake from daily protein shake: 4.375 * 120 = 525 kcal.)
So lets go for 4 scoops of protein powder per day. Two scoops go into morning smoothie. One scoop after each workout. Any residual will go into a before-bed recovery drink.
July
5
I would like to leave this city, this old town don’t smell too pretty
And when i leave this asylum, I’ll book myself a soul asylum
When i leave this planet , You know i’d stay but i just can’t stand it
If i could leave this spirit, I’ll find me a hole and i’ll live in it
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind.
So here i go
i’m still scratching around in the same old hole
My body feels young but my mind is very old
I have been lost, I’ve been found, but i don’t feel down.
With a door i can shut everything out. And there i go, still scratching around in the same old hole.
June
19
Meeting with an old friend really helps. They remind myself of the person i used to be, or the person i am still suppose to be. I like simple things while i do have a tendency in complicating things. I think it is still important to reinforce that likeness for simple things once in a while.
17
How much i hate myself sometimes. God (sorry God) I hate myself sometimes. Despise, despise, despise.
ugly as hell. fuck! fuck!
Man i really hate myself. Please cut me out off from this world.
This pathetic, moody, emotional, weak piece of shit. Damn it I hate myself.
FUCK!
Ya’. I want to cry out loud.
Welp never fucking mind. Lets train.
16
The real question is:
Have you put in the work for your goals today?
What are you going to do when you are not “saving the world”?
15
I never made promises that i will not curse on my own bog, so there you go: Fuck!
14
Life goes on.
I think this is an opportunity for me to regroup, reflect on the past couple of months. An opportunity for changes. Changes in work-life, life-life, the entire “aote-sphere“. It’s like seeing life deviating from one lane to the other.
Huh.. this actually feels exciting now. Like going to Kansas, being pretty much the only international / Asian student wherever i go forced me to get out of my comfort zone and dive in. Now, temporarily cutting my ties with my job will certainly nudge me into “new excavations”. Now we are cooking.
02
All Photography is is Observation.
Forcing yourself to observe things in a particular way is a really great tool.
The Power of Limitations and what they can do to your creativity and your skills of observation.
…spending more time in composition…
—James Popsy on “limiting yourself to one focal length“
01
There is something i have been on my mind. I have been pounding over it for a while now.
I like taking photos. And i enjoy the feelings when i take out my camera and start shooting photos. Seeing things through the lens, watching how things move, waves, wild animals.. or playing with things that are more static for composition. Then I snapped that moment via a click on the shutter.
I am truly rooted in those moments. I am an observer of the world. A sense of detachment. I am actually seeing / watching / observing the world with laser-sharp focus. TBC.
May
29 Avalon, Santa Catalina Island
Anybody else here feels like he is being publicly crucified by a table of five for what he did in a relationship almost ten years ago?
That was the closing line i came up with during a trail run in response to a lunch conversation that already happened the day before. Obviously it was too late but I still found the line quite amusingly funny when i was reflecting over the conversation, and the past.
Well, i personally do not think it is an easy deed to answer super intimate and personal questions. Why? I guess one just can’t help but making some mistakes in their past. And to come face to face to their mistakes, confront, admit, reflect. This is not easy, i have observed in other people. Like my mom or step-dad. When i approached them with their mistakes, however small, i always have had a hard time getting them to admit. I do not know why, maybe I do, but i just do not want to get into that just yet.
But once you get over that acceptance part. Here is the beauty, a more practical, and forward-thinking question shall arrive: What are you going to do about it?
“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.”
“Do not make the same mistake twice.”
Ben’s dad has the perfect answer to this question, in a such a concise way.
Now i reflected on the lunch convo. These questions are the questions that I have pounded over myself before. So it is fine. At least i did not respond in an evasive manner. No dodging or deflecting. Maybe I could have more organized answers so other might less likely to take it the wrong way. But it is fine now. One point for the Gryffindor house!
To completely shift gears here, our friendship must become very close since i was getting thrown with these hard and personal questions. Well, I will close my thought process here with a positive note: Not a bad thing at all for bonds to get deeper and for us to know each other more.
Oh btw, holy cow, I saw a dozen of sea lions hunting for flying fish last night on a boat ship. That was one heck of a kicker. The sea lions had a blast. I had a blast. Undisputedly, the highlight of the weekend! Avalon, it’s not so bad! Why am i getting all this Kansas vibe. At least in Kansas, no one needs to pay freaking over 100 bucks to see bison. Granted, bisons are cool, should be my top 2 favorite non-extinct land animal in North America. Paying that much dough just to see them on an island where bisons were just introduced 80 years ago is NUTS. Fortunately i bumped into a bison during my morning run. That was a magical moment.
25
One extremely valuable lesson i have learned from my graduation from grad school is that We are not living as a singularity in this universe, in this life.
“It takes a village for any of us to succeed“
Somebody said this to me when i first started my master’s program. I will not mention any name since there is history there. ops. But back to the point. It took the entirety of my master’s life to be able to fully comprehend the meanings behind this line.
We all had help from others, sometimes you notice, sometimes you don’t. The point is that with that recognition, it is profoundly easier for me to have appreciation for life as a whole, or for any individual involved, or for any particular experience. Obviously I am still working on the “individual involved“ part, as well, personal relationships are trickier, more complicated and sometimes could be preeeety damn nasty.
With that perspective, the graduation is NEVER just about personal success. It is a culmination of all the efforts, dedication, sacrifice, compromises from you and your support group along the journey working towards the same goal to take you through and above the finish line.
I personally did not think it was quite a big thing for me to get my master’s degree. Interestingly-enough, I was both arrogant and humble at the same time to think like that. Well, in my belief, education / research is the kind of things that “anybody can do it if you put your heart and mind to“. (well, in my belief, most things in life belong to this kind of things. The freaking H1B lottery is something that doesnt. Things i have zero control over do exist lol). So yea, anybody can get a master’s degree if they want. I am not special at all in that regards. However, at same time, I always know that if I dedicate myself enough to a cause / goal that is fully within my control, there is no question, zero, nada, that I will make it, that i can get through any degree that i want (the arrogant part).
It dawned on me, mostly thanks to Jennie, that not everything is about me, and there is no conflict in between Believing in yourself and being appreciative and honest about the help you received.
So i would only be doing it right if I acknowledge, appreciate and even celebrate the help, the experience, the people which i came across during my study. And Let’s be frank, it is much much more fun when you celebrate your graduation or any life milestone with your core support group that you have shared the journey with. It is a priviledge.
23
What do i need now? 1. A structured training plan with scheduled runs, weekly mileage + 2. some ideas of dieting plan. That should be good enough. October 13th 10,000 ft ele gain. I need both the road legs and the trail legs. At some point of the training, my weekly mileage should reach 80 miles (hee hee hee). Everything about it is ambitious but fortunately time is on my side. Should be no problem if i committed. hee hee hee
I ran close to 8 miles btw. It is a start.
22
Enough rest since Canyons 50K.
Time to jump right in another training plan!!!
I told Ben that I am getting to look like a melting ice cream, especially the area around my belly. Ben told me he’s getting to look more like a skeleton. Well, Ben, i would rather choose skeleton than a melting ice cream, any given day.
19
Overwork. If I’m not the smartest which is obviously true, I sure as hell can overwork them. Overworking is just used as an approach to achieve my goals. The ideal state is for me to have that self-driven motivations to work hard. The big-picture goal is obviously self growth and self development. Never anything else, at least not as priority. Cause that will just be petty. And I hate doing meaningless things, or, well, to the very least, the things that are not contributing towards a meaningful cause.
18
One step at a time. That is the mentality I should have. And have strong faith.
He is Rafa Nadal.
Rafa’s response after being asked “Did you ever have doubts on never coming back?” during AO2022
Every single day. That’s true.
I’m very satisfied the way that I approach it. I hold the passion, the work and the spirit and that’s probably why I’m here. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future but I’m enjoying every single day.
— Rafa Nadal
More about doubts during AO2022:
There is still doubts. As I say all my life, doubts are good because doubts make you think, make you feel alive. When you have doubts, it is because you are humble enough to have doubts for anything.
It is easier, when you are humble enough, to choose the right things, to listen to people that really wants the best for you.
Rafa more on doubts:
It's normal to have doubts on everything when you have to take positions. If you are not too arrogant, you have different ways, and it's normal to have doubts in life.
In sport it's exactly the same, no? When you are not playing well, when I had more injuries than I would like, it's normal to have doubts. And I did.
In my opinion, doubts are good. If it's too much, it's too much. If you have too much doubts, then to practice sport is more difficult because you need to have determination at the same time.
When you're on court, you know that every opponent is dangerous. Then don't relax yourself when you are winning. Keep having the motivation to improve. Don't consider yourself too good. And I think this kind of stuff help me to have a longer career.
17
Problems and Opportunities.
Keep showing up, I guess. “It’s that time again“, so does my friend says.
15
大海上最自由的人就是海贼王🏴☠️
The guy with the Most Freedom in the Entire Ocean is the Pirate King.
The four pillars of health: “Nutrition, Fitness, Stress Management and Sleep“.